Post # 22 Boris the Cat

It's easy for Baby Boomers to get stuck in a "groove"

May 11, 2025

Baby Boomers, should we change our groove?

This past week I wrote about how we Boomers have a new “groovy.” As we’ve aged, many of us have gotten into a new “groove.” We’ve walked the same path thousands of times. We have our routines, and we like them. Our bathroom routine, our eating routine, our sleeping routine. The shows we watch, the things we do, the people we see. The attitudes we have. They are comforting. They are our friends. They ground us through this turbulent life.

I honored them. And we should. They help define who we are.

But now, I want to walk down another path.

Because sometimes, we need to.

Sometimes, we need a little change. Or a big one.

Because our bodies and brains are slowly breaking down.

And at some point, we need to do things differently.

Sometimes, we have no choice. Your best friend you’ve had coffee with every day may have gotten sick or passed away, and isn’t sitting in the seat that you’ve sat across from and looked at her and spilled your guts out to for the last twenty years anymore. Your stomach has passed the point where you can’t have that strong morning coffee you so adore. Or the home you’ve lived in for the past forty years how somehow gotten bigger, and you no longer have the energy the keep it up.

Research has told us, again and again, that if we don’t do something new, sometimes, it is more likely that our brains will, in a sense, atrophy. They won’t make the connections they once used to. We are more likely to develop or accentuate the process which causes dementia.

In other words, use it or lose it.

The experts tell us to try new things. Start learning a new language. Pick up an instrument. Start swimming. Do something that gets you out of the oh so comfortable “groove” of yours.

Recently, my wife and I did something new.

We got a cat.

His name is Boris.

My daughter is a cat lover and she had a spare cat hanging around. I won’t go into that.

Boris is jet black, a big cat about 15 pounds, middle-aged, with long, curved white whiskers that remind me of Sam Shepard’s mustache. He is – a boomer word – mellow. He sleeps half the day and moves slowly the rest. He sits next to us on the couch and lets us caress him. He hasn’t found his groove in his new house yet. He doesn’t quite know when to eat, when to do his business, and where his favorite hang-outs are. You can tell he his still trying to figure out who these two humans are he is somehow now living with, and whether he can trust them.

I see him looking around and I swear it seems he is thinking, “how the hell did I get here? Just a few days ago I was prowling some neighborhood, scrounging for food and picking a fight. Now I’m in this swanky house (he thinks any house is swanky) and these two large creatures are trying to be all nice to me. What’s their angle? I’m not smiling at them or giving them anything back yet they still keep being nice to me. What’s the rub? I’m going to have to figure this thing out. I always do. In the meanwhile, I’m going to have a little fun and and drive them crazy trying to figure out what I want and what makes me happy. Those humans are funny. They think they’re so smart, but I would’ve been happy with some water, some scraps of food and a little blanket on the front porch. Now I’m in the castle! Well, I’m going to go take a nap now and enjoy the free food and the nice digs.”

Then he stretches out, takes a long yawn, and settles in next to a window with the sun shining on his face.

It was a huge groove-change for us to agree to have Boris come live with us in the first place. We had the typical thoughts – will he scratch the floors? Will he ruin the furniture? Will he smell up the house? We will be allergic? Will it be harder for guests to come over?

I admit it took us a few years to get over those self-imposed restrictions!

Then, there are the new logistics of feeding him, making sure he doesn’t get out, and especially getting him to understand where his litter is. Luckily, our daughter has been helping out with that.

The thing is, without us doing much, our brains are now in a brand new configuration mode. There are hundreds, maybe thousands of new thoughts and feelings we have. But, it’s fun! Every day, shoot – every hour and minute, I can almost feel my brain thinking or feeling something different. Just watching him prowl around the house is a neuron change. Sitting next to him on the couch spurts out some new dopamine in my brain. Going to bed and wondering where he is going to sleep or if he is going to be alright releases some serotonin or something in that old cavity that sits above my shoulders.

Who knows? Will having Boris the cat somehow slowly stop the normal progression I have of not remembering some nouns, some people names, the place we went to last year? Will having the Boris the cat make the difference between me having to spend my last few years in a memory care facility not knowing who my family are? Will the love and the thousands of hours that we spend with Boris the cat these next few years keep our brains from slowing down enough so that we can stay in the house we love and live the life we love for a few more years?

I don’t know. No one knows. But maybe, just maybe, this one change in the grooves I have developed these last decades may be the key to living the life I want for years or decades to come.

Who knows?

I think

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