Post 27: The advantages of being older

Baby Boomers in their sixties and seventies have learned a few things over the years.

Jun 05, 2025

close-up photo of green tree — Photo by Art Lasovsky on Unsplash

One of the advantages of being in your seventh or eighth decade, as most Baby Boomers now are, is that there are what I call, Lessons Learned. We know things, deep in our bones. I’m not saying we know everything, or that we don’t make mistakes. However, there are certain life truths that we have learned over the years, that each of us know, and that give us a certain sense of peace. And, at least for me, there is a second level of satisfaction of feeling good about ourselves knowing that we know such things. We’ve been around the block, we’ve paid our dues, we’ve earned our scars. And we have something to show for it. There are truths we know.

I’m sure they are different for each one of us, and we’ve learned them from different sources. I get a lot of my Life Lessons from nature. Many of us have mentors we’ve learned from. Others have learned spiritual lessons. To me, nature is perfect in its imperfection. I grew up on the Jersey shore, and for most people I know who grew up there, the Ocean is a Teacher. The tides are different every day, like people, like our moods.

There are days in the summer, when the temperature is just right, the waves are calm, families are sitting together on the beach enjoying each other, the kids are playing in the sand, the teens riding the waves, and life seems good.

And there are other days, when it is stormy and angry, with the winds whipping and the rain literally travelling sideways, with the beaches empty and the sun sleeping, and it seems that god or whomever is in a foul mood, just like us sometimes.

In our suburban backyard, I enjoy an activity called “tree raising” or “pruning. ” Some people call it “ crown-raising.” We have a row of maple and evergreen trees in the back of our yard which is at the end of a cul-de-sac, and once a year, as the branches and leaves drift a bit too low to the ground, I take out my trusty clippers and chop off the bottom layer of branches and leaves that are pushing the other branches too low to the ground. When I make the required cut of a certain branch, all of a sudden magic happens. The rest of the branch slowly and gently “raises” to the sky, like a bird spreading its wings. And every time I see this I get a most wonderful feeling. It reminds me of something I know. It is as if a burden has been lifted from the tree and it is now free, like when we say something or do something right in a relationship where there may have been some tension, and then the air between us is clear. It seems all the same. It’s what we know.

There are all sorts of feelings, emotions and thoughts as we age. There are plenty of things to feel good or bad about, big and small. We may be coping with a major illness or disease that dominates our day. Some of us are dealing with cognitive losses or have spouses or relatives who may be struggling. Or maybe it’s just a general feeling of wearing out. Not life shattering, but irritating issues like your knees hurting, your stomach bothering you, or anything with your eyes, ears, arms, legs or toes can dominate a day. Those damn doctor visits. Or maybe your adult child is struggling or you are not talking to a friend, or you are having financial difficulty, or you want to retire and can’t. There are things about aging that just suck.

But then there are the good things. The joys of seeing that smile on your granddaughter’s face. The pleasure of not working. Taking a walk on the beach and saying hello today to a friend. Holding hands with your spouse. Painting, gardening. And having the satisfaction of knowing what we know.

We’ve worked hard to have some competencies in life. Some of us are amazingly competent around the house, and are experts in buying just the right eggs at the market and making them just the way you like them, and cleaning up afterwards, and the cycle gets completed and all is good. Some of you are experts with your hands, and can pick up the right tool and turn the screwdriver with just the right amount of torque and know which socket to use to fix just about anything, and the cycle is completed and all is good. Some of us can write or play music or paint or draw and have mastered our art form to at least some degree and we can sit down and create and the cycle is completed and all is good. And some of us have the gift of words and emotions, knowing how to say just the right thing to just the right person at just the right time, giving comfort to a friend or loved when they need it most.

There are some advantages of being older. There is nothing like having mastered a little bit of being human, having done something, anything, for sixty, seventy, or eighty years and knowing, deep inside you, you are doing it right. There is nothing like just “knowing,” knowing something about this strange life we live in, a truth that is not written down, that cannot be taught, but that you just know from being here so many darn days on this planet. Like clipping a branch on a tree and seeing it slowly raise up, gliding in the wind, and being in the place it is supposed to be.

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